dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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