That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
