its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
