Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
