Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
