Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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