it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
