covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
