...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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