so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We got so high we made milksteak
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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