i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
