yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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