I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
