That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This is my gift to your gina
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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