yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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