Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
