The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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