i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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