I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
