Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
