@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
