Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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