So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
