:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
