We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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