great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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