He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
