New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize