i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
