We won't sleep together?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
