this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
