I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
