The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
