I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
