dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
