piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
