I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
