please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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