You can't special order awesome
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
