three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
