i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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