pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
