Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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