How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
babies were throwing up all over the place
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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