Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
