Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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