Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
