STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
