i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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