That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
