I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
