i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
