I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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