this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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