She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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