You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize