Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
