two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
