So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
