The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
