On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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